Trapped in a Foxhole?

I love the NY Yankees and have since my mother told me about Babe Ruth when I was a very little kid. When I was eight, she bought me a baseball hat with the N and Y on it, and I wore it constantly. I couldn't get enough of that hat! Somewhere around October of 1973, though, I realized that it was actually a NY Met hat, but that isn't important!

The Yankees have their own broadcast network called the YES network. Most of the time, they replay old Yankees games (all Yankee victories; no place for losses on their own network!) and something called the Yankeeography. Basically, anyone that played for the Yankees gets one of these. The narrator talks incessantly about the subject and you learn where the ballplayer was born, where he played high school ball and most importantly, what he did to beat the hated Red Sox. Most people couldn't change the channel fast enough, but I endure.

Now, one of the best shows on the network is something called CenterStage. Michael Kay hosts this show and his guests are mostly sports figures, but occasionally you will see people famous for other reasons. In fact, Paul Simon was one of his best guests. Near the end of the show, Mr. Kay asks five personal questions of the guest in a segment that he calls, Hit and Run.

The last question in Hit and Run is "If you were trapped in a foxhole, which person would you want in there to help you get out?" For me, Tammie would be a pretty fair answer to this question. She was a very determined person who could be extremely tenacious when she really wanted something. Also, she always made me laugh and was one of the funniest people that I have ever known. I think that you need a few belly laughs when you're up against it! Lastly, she loved and cared for me very much and she proved it from the day I was born.

Bright Eyes

Amy's Memorial

Tammie,

These pictures are my memorial to you. Each one holds a special meaning for me, your Mom, Dad, Billy, Mike, Sean, and Derek. I have seen many of these pictures of you over the years and heard all the stories they represent. All the special moments in your life. From the time you were born with your Mom and Dad holding you to all the wonderful memories we shared at the Balloon Rally. As I put together this pictorial history of your life, one thing kept repeating over and over again. That big, beautiful smile.

Tammie, thank you for sharing your life with me and making me smile. I will miss you, and the joy and laughter that you filled my life with. I love you Sis!

Amy

Love You, Tam

My Great-Grandmother Meg used to say that at the time of death, a guardian angel will come down from heaven to escort a dying person to their new home. According to my mother, Meg described this angel as being a deceased loved one. The two would then walk up a golden staircase and live in a heaven filled with mansions.

I know that my sister is with Meg now and that they are probably playing dominoes again, drinking tea, eating shortbread cookies and singing Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow.

Knowing my sister, she might be looking down right now and laughing at her little brother and the harp rendition of Oats, Peas, Beans and Barley Grow. In that case, I remember her coming to the NYS Fair a few times to listen to this guy

The Pasture

Growing up, there was a place behind my parent's home called Christmas Tree Hill. All the neighborhood kids were aware of it and below the pine trees was this vast and steep area that was known as the "Dugout". I have no idea why there was this area in the middle of our neighborhood tract, but for me, it was made for adventure. My friend Richard and I used to climb up on the "Dugout" and he knew a place where there were underground springs. At least, that's what he called them. We would put sticks into the ground and then return a few days later and see crystal, clear water bubbling out of the holes. In the winter, we would travel above the "Dugout" and into the pine trees and track deer and rabbits. I cannot tell you how much fun that was.

This was a magical place for me and I often would look up at the hill at night and watch the sunset over the trees. In winter, the trees looked so beautiful under the snow. You could see the entire town of Camillus from its heights and even as far away as Onondaga Lake. My sister first introduced Christmas Tree Hill to me and showed me a very special place within its environs. After walking for sometime, we came upon a pasture in the woods. There were rabbits running around and birds in the sky, and it seemed that it was our own special place. A refuge from the dusty roads and noise of our neighborhood. The air was fresh and the pasture was peaceful and quiet. Nearby, there was a small red hut that someone had decorated with paisley flowers and smiley faces (It was the Seventies!). Clearly this was our own piece of heaven amongst the ranch homes of our neighborhood.

I know that my sister is failing now and that her breathing is becoming more and more labored. I still hold out hope and do not want to think of what is considered inevitable, but sometimes reality sets in. I pray that after her struggle is complete that she finds someplace as wonderful as the pasture of our youth.

Balloon Over the House!

Every year, my family goes to the balloon rally in Wellsville, NY. This year was no different and Tammie was there as usual. I just cannot imagine going to a balloon rally without her. I just can't see it.

Our family has changed a lot over the years and many of us have grown apart, but we could always count on our get-together in that little town in the Southern Tier.

For the first time that I can remember, a balloon went directly over my grandmother's home and landed in her next-door neighbor's yard. We all got to see it land; up close and personal. I am so glad that Tammie was there to see it. For some reason, I had this overpowering feeling that this would be our last balloon rally. I pray that I am wrong.

After the weekend was over, we headed home and vowed to meet again next year. My grandmother is two months shy of 99-years-old and I really thought that she wouldn't be able to accommodate us again. I never dreamed that it would be Tammie that might not be able to attend another rally.

Today, I drove by Mac's Drive-In in Waterloo, NY. Mac's is closed for the season, but I can still see my family gathered around a picnic table there, downing some various fried items in the hot July sun. You see, we always stop there on our way back from Wellsville.

Tam Terrific

Here's to Life

Thank you, Sis

An Interview with my Mom and Dad

My mother drove out to the airport one day in 1960 to tell my father some important news. Back then, my father had a very large territory that required him to travel as far away as Maine. He came in that day all worked up about his day and the events that had occurred, and according to my mother, he "was talking a mile a minute". Finally, she blurted out that she was expecting a baby. Eventually, they would discover that Tammie was due on May 1, 1961 and unlike her brother who was three weeks late, she arrived exactly on the due date.

Tammie was born in Syracuse Memorial Hospital and was delivered by Dr. Philip L Ferro. About a year ago, I met Dr. Ferro in an elevator and introduced myself. He delivered all three of my parent's babies and is still practicing today. In fact, my mother continues to be one of his patients.

After Tammie was born, my parents were given the option of something called rooming-in, where a newborn could be kept in the mother's room instead of the nursery. At first, my mother didn't like that idea, but when the nurse came to take Tammie from my father and bring her back to the nursery, my mother changed her mind. According to her, my father looked so sad that she decided that she had made a mistake and she told my dad to run after the nurse and see if they could make the change to rooming-in. The nurse understood and Tammie was given back to my dad and she stayed the rest of the time in my mom's room.

My father told me how beautiful Tammie was as a baby. He said, "I can remember walking through Edwards Department Store and holding Tammie and people would come up to me and just remark about her eyes and how cute she was." My mom agreed and mentioned to me that people were just so enamored with her very unusual, almost black eyes. When I heard that, I kind of rolled my own eyes, as mine are identical to my sister's. How come no one ever said that I was beautiful or cute? Perhaps, there is more to it than just the eyes.

Tammie, as a very little girl, had a constant companion. Actually, she had a few of these companions. Most times, she could be seen carrying a little piece of cloth that she called her "Mama". After a while, Tammie determined that she was getting too old for "Mama" and decided that she wanted to get rid of her. My mother told her that if she put it in the closet there was a chance that a toy would appear in its place the next morning. Well, Tammie thought that was a great idea and quickly agreed. Unfortunately, somewhere around bedtime, she decided that just to be safe, she would give her "Mama" another chance.

Tammie could be stubborn as a little girl, too. Come to think of it, she has been a little stubborn her whole life. When she was three, she went through a period where she just wouldn't eat. My parents tried everything and were becoming quite frustrated. The family pediatrician advised ignoring her behavior, under the belief that she would eventually eat on her own. That turned out to be an effective strategy and something that ultimately worked.

My mom's parents were up from Wellsville and my grandmother had brought with her some anise cookies. She left them on my parent's kitchen table and retreated with the rest of the adults to the living room. Thinking that no one was watching, Tam sneaked into the kitchen and very discreetly absconded with one of the cookies. She then nonchalantly walked down the hall, losing a few cookie crumbs as she walked. My mother and grandmother noticed this theft, but my grandmother advised not drawing attention to it. Tam made several more trips before she finally tired of the anise cookie. The hunger strike was officially over!

Number 1 song on May 1, 1961 -funny, but for years this was my favorite song. Tam had introduced me to the film American Graffiti and "Runaway" was a prominent song in it.

Trips Downtown

(I believe that these glasses were purchased from someone other than "Jim", but they have a similar look)

Today, I had to go downtown for a doctor's appointment and I spent most of the trip there and back thinking of my sister up on that 5th floor in St. Peter's Hospital in Albany. I thought of our many trips downtown and around the city and some of the memories that we share. The wonderful trips shopping and eating with my mom and the interesting, wacky trips with my dad.

Years ago, when there was retail in downtown Syracuse, my mother used to take Tammie and I shopping at the big department stores there. We would go to Edwards, Dey Brothers and in later years, Sibley's. Oh and just before school started, we would head down to Wells and Coverly to buy clothes, shoes, etc. These were little adventures that we really enjoyed. In addition to the great shopping, Dey's and Edwards had these wonderful restaurants. Boy, do I miss the toasted cheese sandwiches at the Dey's Erie Room and the egg salad sandwiches at the Sibley's Deli.

My mother has never really enjoyed driving during the winter months, so we always took the bus during Christmas time. I remember the buses being red in color back then and we would walk about a quarter-mile to the bus stop on the corner of Camillus Drive and West Genesee St. On the way, my mother was always rushing. I imagine because one or the both of us dragged our feet when we were getting ready. I would lag behind and my mom would stop and holler for me to keep up. I didn't have the long legs that I have today, but I found a way to stop daydreaming and get going. At the corner, there was a orange band around a telephone pole indicating that it was an official bus stop and we would wait until our ride showed up and our adventure began.

My father was a salesman. In fact, he was a pharmaceutical representative for 32 years. His job required that he be away from home for three weeks a month and then he worked weekends at the Delaware Pharmacy on Geddes St in Syracuse. As a result of his work, we didn't get to see him that much when we were young. We always had a good time with him, though, when he was around.

Dad knew a lot of people and most of these characters were able to provide him with some "bargain" or "good deal". He had a contact who provided us with inexpensive eyeglasses. I remember going downtown with Dad and Tammie at night and struggling to find the back entrance to this "one of a kind" eyeglass manufacturer. Once we got up to the third floor or so, a gentleman smoking a cigar would greet us and slowly turn on a few lights. There were several filing cabinets in the room and they were filled with all of these frames. The man ("Jim") would carefully take out the eyeglasses, hold them up to the "light" and then place them on our heads. "Jim" was very particular and serious about his work, and would order us to look straight ahead while he examined how the frames looked from every angle. All the while, he would be smoking a tiny stub of a cigar and blowing smoke all around the room. If we got a "not bad", we usually found our new glasses.

Then there was the Central Surplus shoe store that was across from Delaware Pharmacy. They sold knock-off sneakers and other odd shoes that initially looked fantastic! Evidently, they had great prices, too. We would get these new sneakers that would last a couple of weeks and then start to disintegrate. Usually, this would occur as I was in gym class and trying to guard Todd Curry or some other great athlete in basketball or that god awful, European Handball. The bottom of the shoe would come apart or the sides would tear away, but despite this, we loved those trips and my father's "good deals".

After I finished with my doctor "adventure" and returned home, I decided to take a book and read at my favorite picnic table at the Camillus Erie Canal Park. As I was reading, I could hear a passing train's whistle and the crackle of leaves blowing in the wind. At the same time, I heard something or someone walking through the nearby woods and the noise appeared to be getting closer and closer to where I was sitting. The anticipation was killing me and I put the book down and looked into the woods. As soon as I stood up, the noise disappeared and I was not able to make out what caused it. Eventually, the noise faded and I was left alone with my book.

I think that memories are a bit like that noise in the woods. I can almost see the red bus, the monorail in Edwards, the great Christmas display in Sibley's, the little man with the cigar, and my sister at my side. Almost, but not completely. The more I try and imagine, the more the faces and the times fade. I would give anything to head out on one more adventure with my sister.

Echoes of the past

Drawing closer and closer

She never appears

An Early Autumn

Right Time, Right Place

I grew up a young kid, but how else could I have grown up. An old man growing up just doesn't seem all that right. Even if Brad Pitt thought it was.

When I was younger though my favorite baseball player was New York Yankee first basemen Donnie Baseball. No, no his name isn't actually that. How fitting it would be a baseball player with the last name of well, baseball. But his name is Donald Arthur Mattingly. Now he is no longer a first basemen for the Yankees. But a hitting coach for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

With my favorite player being a member of the Yankees I was a fan of which. Sadly for a Yankee fan it was part of the worse years. Not many playoff wins if any at all, which obviously means no World Series titles.

In these dark years there were great moments at least in this little kid's eyes. When Donnie Baseball would light a spark with a great defensive play or a spectacular double which with him seemed more average than spectacular.

Wellsville and the Yankees tie in greatly here. As I remember one year getting to Wellsville late on a Friday night and walking into the living room of my great grandmother's house at just the right time when that first basemen who oh, by the way shares the same birthday as me took a ball deep and over the fence for a home run.

Now this wasn't a tape measure shot at all, it was a game winning one. It was just a home run by a kids idol at just the right time and right place.
I'm not quite sure what year this took place, as Mattingly would have a streak of eight home runs in consecutive games back in 1987. Yet I tend to believe that I wouldn't remember me being 4 years old. But I do remember a few things.

Yet, this does fall into place with right time and right place. No matter which year it actually was. While this may also be the right time and the right place while Donnie Baseball and the New York Yankees are now both in the playoffs. Yet, Donnie like I stated earlier is a coach for the Dodgers. And well, his team isn't doing so good at this time. Down three games to one. His old team on the other hand is doing a little better as they are currently playing the Los Angeles Angels.

Yankees versus Angels.

To some it might just be another set of seven games that don't mean anything. To others it's a wonderful playoff series. To me, in this right time and right place could mean a little bit more.

I am no longer a Yankee fan. I have chosen to root for the Chicago Cubs after Donnie's retirement from baseball in 1995. Why? I feared rooting for a World Series championship team. Seeing as the Cubs haven't won a World Series since long before my great grandmother was born. Over a 100 years and counting and still no World Series wins for the Cubs. So the Cubs are again wrong time and wrong place.

The Yankees and Angels on the other hand are in the right time and right place.

Much like how back in 2001 when the Yankees made the World Series after the occurrence of 9/11. The city of New York and much of America rooted for the so-called "evil empire" of the Yankees. While their opponents the Arizona Diamondbacks played the role of the hated intruders. Much like the suspected terrorist leaders who caused 9/11. The Diamondbacks were from the desert and I could list six or seven somewhat similarities but this wasn't the time and place for me.

The time and the place was Yankees versus Angels. The first two games went to the Yankees. While sitting in my mother's room at the Inn, she slept through most those games.

So our place was game three.

Our time was now.

A mother and a son.

Her back was towards the television although it wouldn't have mattered her cancer has riddled her vision quite useless now.

As the game played on the small 13 inch television in her room on mute so the volume of crowd reaction or crack of the bat wouldn't scare her.

She laid in her bed as I sat in a wooden chair beside her. The Yankees had the lead at the moment three runs to one. As the game continued to unfold the Angels battled back. A two run home run from Vladimir Guerrero tied things up.

As the game went on numerous things occurred but other than a seemingly lucky catch from Mark Teixeira nothing else seemed too interesting.

Yes, game three of a league playoff game is a big deal. Don't get me wrong. A tied version closing in on extra innings, that's a huge deal.
But something pulled me away from the television. Much like it would have when I was younger. Maybe as young as when Donnie Baseball hit those eight consecutive home runs in as many games. Or maybe not as young as I thought I was. Yet, this one thing pulling me away was my mother's hand.

As the Yankees battled to go up three games to nothing. My mother struggled to hold my hand.

While former Yankee Bobby Abreu struggled to turn a double into a triple.

My mother wanted to feel something other than pain.

As Abreu decided his double was good enough it was too late he already veered too far in the in between. In between second and third.
The ball he hit had landed right in front of the outfield wall, ricocheting off of a picture of number 34, Nick Adenhart, who had been killed earlier this year in a driving incident.

As my mother allowed me to tighten my grip.

The ball bounced off the wall into Melky Cabrera's glove. A man a year previously was in danger of not only losing his role with the Yankees but in danger of not being one.

As my mother's eyes and mine traded contact our hands still grasping one another.

The Melk man, who now wears number 53 in honor of his role model Bobby Abreu, threw the ball into the infield. As the ball sailed past the cut off man, Robinson Cano and into the glove of Derek Jeter.

It was then, the right time and right place.

When the battle between good and evil re-emerged.

Much like how back in 2001 Americans rallied behind the Yankees in hope of something to believe in. In hope of something to celebrate.

It was then that I realized this series, the Yankees and the Angels had the same feeling.

But not for all those who lost something on 9/11, but for that little kid who's favorite baseball player hit a home run when that little kid happened to be in his mother's favorite town.

And just as Abreu thought running and sliding back towards second would be his safest bet. The captain of the Yankees made the turn to second. Instead of the seemingly then obvious turn to third. And caught Abreu, the Angel, trying to take something to early.

As my mother made a slight move to rearrange her blankets.

The out call was made. Jeter was excited. Abreu shocked and disappointed with himself.

And that little kid.

He's turned into a Yankee fan once again.

But this time. It's not because some guy named Donald shares the same birthday as him.

But because he is a Yankee. His mother is a Yankee. And he isn't ready to see the Angels win the fight just yet.

No Mystery About My Best Friend - Sean Hachey

While my Uncle has begun trying to understand the mystery of it all. I'll
try to bring another side of the spectrum into it. After all, I was the
one who suggested the start of this blog. Something I regret not starting
myself or even participating in, maybe this will help.

There are many mysteries that surround my mother and I guess with
everything that has been going on in my mom's life in the past month
and a half, there really isn't much mystery to it at all.
From the amount of pain my mom has been in, yet the more pain she
should have been in is... well, astonishing. Yet, then again, this isn't a
blog about how much pain a person can go on living with, but one
about my mother, my best friend.

Hey, she did start singing that song to me.
The theme song to the Courtship of Eddie's Father, from the time I
was a baby to the time I was... well about a few weeks ago. While the
song was written for a show about a father-son relationship and more
than 10 years before my birth, it worked great for this mother-son
relationship. She used to be put me atop her knee and bounce me up
and down while singing this "Best Friend" song.
Including that and all the rest she has ever done for me and obviously
everyone else... as read here on this wonderful blog. One would
wonder how she went on living with what was eventually found within
her and how the weeks and months leading up to this discovery she let
it seem like there wasn't a problem at all... and let's just use one word
or maybe a few more afterwards, but let's stick with that one word and
it'll be -- family.

She more than anything else loves her family, a past tense will never
apply. She was so excited for our annual Wellsville trip this year, the
balloons were never her main goal, neither were the famous Texas Hot
hot dogs, she just wanted to go see Mimi; to see Ma; to see Bette; to
see Brenda; to see the entire family ;to see this small little town and to
remember when she was a little girl and the times in Wellsville she
loved and reminisced with her family and all.

We would sometimes joke about the size of Wellsville and I always would

make the joke that maybe this year would be the year we finally got to meet Floyd

the barber or Otis the drunk, but I guess that's just from the classic Andy
Griffith television show. But this to my mom is a television show, to be
able to see her father celebrate another birthday and this year was no
exception. Except for the fact that she had already pre-planned his
birthday present for a few months. For those who didn't get to see my
grandfather open his gift, he got the latest Clint Eastwood movie, Gran
Turino, where this time Clint played a Korean war vet, bent on setting
wrongs right and living his life as a strong willed man... no it's not the
latest version of the 60s Man With No Name series, it's a whole
different take. And well, I know this man's name and it's Da.
And while my grandfather could probably make Clint Eastwood cry
with a good hand shake, my mom has made us all cry. But we're not
crying because of the pain she is in or the sad inevitable truth of the
matter, but probably what my uncle had previously mentioned - the
mystery. And well there really isn't any mystery to my mom she loved us all, us
being her family most of all.

To Mimi -- the one person who she always believes is the strongest
person in the entire world. The one person who will tell you what's the
truth of it all even if it hurts the most.

To Ma -- the one person my mother loved to just talk on the phone
with to tell her how her day went who loves my mother unconditionally
who would show my mom compasion when she thought the three boys
in her life weren't at times.

To Da -- the man she always looked up to. The guy who she always
knows would do anything and everything to protect and to provide for
her. And Da don't worry she did miss you when she was younger, but
some of her favorite childhood memories were with you and the crazy
family vacations you guys would go on.

To Bette -- my mother is slightly jealous of you. Because no matter
how something seems to others you always see the fun and excitement
in it. Even if say we were all being held hostage, you would be happy
that we were all in this adventure together.

To Amy -- yes, you got your sister and so did my mother. My mom
loves hanging out with you and just chit chatting and enjoying the time
and was so happy you decided to join our family all those years back.

To Brenda -- her aunt, when you invited her to Christmas in the city
she was so happy and overwhelmed. After each trip she would explain
everything she did and saw. She would show me the pictures with
Santa, the playbills of the plays she went to and she really enjoyed the
whole Regis time.

To her cousins Tara and Chris -- she was so happy to see you guys
come every Balloon Rally. Tara she was so happy to be part of your
wedding (minus being locked out of our bed and breakfast the night
before).

And Chris, I remember when you would come and visit us in
Gloversville and even up here in Albany when you brought the lobsters
and all, my dad and I were just talking about that event the other day.

To her other cousins Nancy and Cathy -- it was great seeing you guys
when you came up to visit, it's sad that we only get to see you guys
during these sad times. But mother loves you. She has told me about
the numerous times she spent with you guys. I'm not sure though, if this
is true or even one of you guys, but I have this thought of something
with posion ivy. If it's not I'm sorry, if I am, sorry I know posion ivy
isn't fun.

To Aunt Sally, Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob -- While I never got as
much luxury as mom has to hang out and get to know you guys, I
know she loves yo alot. But I know one thing for sure, she could
never keep up with Uncle Bob's new addresses.

To anyone I forgot to mention I'm sorry, if I haven't named you by
name, but my mind now is starting to fade out, as it's getting past my
11AM bedtime and I should start my sleep now. But there are fond
memories for everyone and anyone my mother has ever met or even
run into, even if it was a random person in the grocery store. Yeah, and
don't worry she has run into me more than once while I was at work
stocking the shelves.

Oh and I almost forgot my Uncle Nonnie, there's probably only one
word that I could come up with after reading all these things that you
have done and said for my mother and for the rest of her crew, my
brother and father combined. For all the times you played Mr.
Belvedere and lived in our attic. Helped us arrange the living room,
helped with installing our pool and the random snack food junkie times
of Oreo's and what else it would be. And the fact that anytime you
mention my football career you make me sound like Reggie White. So
thank you and I suppose you are wondering what the word is.... it's
King. And I'm sorry I've gone rambling but you know my mother is well, if
my Uncle is the King, she just has to be the Queen. There is just so
much to my mother that a complete anthology of it all would take a long,
long time. Something, I hope my mother has left with us.
So until next time I venture to write, I thank you all for everything and I
know my brother and father do as well.

Now for me, it's time for a quick nap before visiting the Queen in her
room on the fifth floor. Love you all. And as Cousin/Uncle Dave said..
Let's all pray for a miracle.

Ain't No Reason

Best Friends

A Mystery

I have a lot of memories of Tam from when I was small, but the teenage years are a bit of a blur. Other than the bowling experience and the time at the church camp, our lives didn't intersect much. Tam has always been sort of a mystery to me and I never really know what the real story is.

I know that she loved to go dancing and to clubs, but being too young, I never frequented those places. She would tell us a bit of her times at the Machine Shop, The Slide In, Lost Horizon and Uncle Sam's, but not much. More than once, I remember going with my dad to pick Tammie up after her old 1973 mustard-yellow Oldsmobile 88 would break down. One time, there were several girls that stayed over at our home after one such adventure. A girl named "Judy" stayed for several days and my mom was starting to wonder. Eventually, Judy returned to wherever she came from and my sister never spoke of her again. In fact, she never spoke of her before that night.

Another time, I came home from school and there was some guy named "Wayne" hiding in our basement. In addition, there were several young men outside waiting for Wayne to come out. I really don't know who Wayne is or was or what became of him. I do recall that someone came to retrieve the characters outside, but I never really learned what that was all about. Tam probably felt sorry for the young man.

In December 2007, I got a call from Tammie and she was stranded on the NYS Thruway just west of Herkimer. She was calling from the Trooper barracks in Schuyler and sounded a bit frantic. Although there was a terrible snowstorm, Amy and I started out on a midnight adventure to retrieve my sister. The visibility was terrible and the roads were unplowed; it may have been the most dangerous thing that I have ever done in my rather tame life. I never got an explanation from Tam on where she was headed that night, but I don't believe that I ever asked. On her Facebook profile, she lists more than once about having fun. I think that is what she was trying to accomplish that night and what she really wanted her whole life.

Tammie liked to keep some things to herself. She never smoked in front of my parents, nor did she even tell them that she did. Of course, my mom and dad are pretty hip characters and they really knew all along. Tammie spent a lot of time by herself and with friends during her teen years and moved out of the house when she was eighteen. Except for a short period (two weeks or so), she never lived with my parents again. There is a lot that I don't know about my sister, but I know that all of us have things that we want to keep to ourselves.

Missing You

Looking at the past.

I am missing Tam tonight.

Longing for her laugh.

We all love you, sweetheart.

More 1970's Tam Video

I think this video is from 1970-1972. While most people were in the Girl Scouts back then, our crazy neighbor thought it best, if the girls on our street joined the Campfire Girls. I can remember going door-to-door with Tammie in Westvale trying to sell Campfire Girl Candy and believe it or not, many people were fairly receptive. I loved that candy; especially the peanut brittle.

During the video section where several of us our playing with dolls, you might see my first two-wheel bike. My Aunt Sally gave it to my parents, and Tammie and I learned to ride on that thing. From what I understand, my older cousins also used it when they learned to ride. The bike still sits in my parents' shed and has no kickstand (this is why it is on its side in the lawn) and no brakes! My first ride on it was in the backyard and I somehow was able to make it a few yards before I crashed violently into our neighbor's privet hedge. For some reason, training wheels were not an option for me.

We spoke with Mike tonight and he told us that Tam had a good day today and that she actually ate a few bites of stuffed chicken and of course, some chocolate milk. As Mike mentioned, there are not many people out there as determined as my big sis.

Visiting My Grandmother (Dad's Mom)

I found a little video of a couple of our visits to my Grandmother Ruth's in Wellsville. Tam is in there as well! Unfortunately, there is no accompanying audio with this one.

Earlier Grandmother Ruth post

I Gotta Be Me

All through my life, my mom has been pushing this idea of "I Gotta Be Me". A few people are responsible for singing this little diddy, but I think Sammy Davis Jr.'s version was the most well-known. My mother was very concerned that we be our own person and that we did what we thought was right in life. Mom liked to sing the song to us and she used wacky hand gestures to get her point across. My sister and I would be in hysterics with laughter, but that never stopped mom.

This was similar to when mom attempted to teach us how to bowl. She was very serious about how to pick up the ball and where the fingers should go and stressed how important the approach to the foul line was. She then explained where we should aim the ball and she was very particular about a proper release with good arm extension. She went through the steps and made her way to the foul line and then she came with the arm extension and the follow-through. The only problem was that she dropped the ball behind her and it rolled slowly backwards and off the lane.

Despite these funny moments, I have tried to listen to my mother. When I was approached by young punk friends to drink, I said no. If I were asked to throw snowballs at cars, I walked away. If someone pressured me to do something that I thought was wrong, I just wouldn't back down. All the while, I remembered my mother's rendition of the beloved hit, "I've Gotta Be Me". By the way, originally the tune was known as "I've Got to Be Me" and the great Steve Lawrence swung with it, but Sammy thought that it need to be jazzed up a little and changed the title. You see, I thought that I was the only one that listened to my mom's nonsense, but I realized now that Tam did, too.

During the last year or so, I have watched as people that I knew stood by and allowed others to bully them and put forth misinformation and in some case lies. Surprising, but true! I have been frustrated by this and wondered why it is that people who are professional people, educated people could behave in such a way. I realize now, that they are just weak characters with no "I Gotta Be Me" in them. As simple as the song is, the concept is not easy and I myself have failed miserably at being me, many times in my short life. My sister has also made a few mistakes and errors in judgement, but I would submit that she did listen to mom and lived the "I Gotta Be Me" way.

Tam lived her life the way she wanted to and did what she thought was right. At times, she may have made bad decisions (I am sure that smoking is a regret), but for the most part, I believe that she made decisions based on what was right for her and her family. Tam, you are the least phony person that I know.

Click below for Sammy's

I Gotta Be Me

Note from Aunt Sally

To talk about Tammie is to remember how she lit up a room when she came in. Always happy, full of life and so much fun to be with. I'll always remember how she would tell jokes that her father had told her. She remembered us each Christmas with news about her family, and sending her love. I'll cherish my memories and keep them close to my heart. Tammie continues to be in our thoughts and prayers. Aunt Sally

Slideshow Sameness

My grandmother Mimi loves to look at slides when she comes to visit. My parents have seven or eight slide carousels and hundreds of slides. They have slides of my mom's family from the 1950's, slides of my father's trip to Japan (including a dozen or so of Mt. Fuji!), and slides of the Hastings family from the 1960's and some from the 1970's.

I noticed right away that there were quite a lot more slides of my sister than there were of me. In fact, this one particular night it was getting ridiculous, but no one was really acknowledging it. As a result, I decided to take things into my own hands. I grabbed an empty carousel and I loaded it up with several slides of Tammie. Now, the best part was that I found ten or so from the same photo set.

When my father finished one carousel, I quickly volunteer my contribution for the next slideshow. My Dad put it in the projector and then turned off the lights. After seven consecutive slides of Tammie, it started to dawn on them and everyone started to laugh.

Aunt Judy (My Dad's Sister) and Aunt Brenda (My Mom's Sister)

Front: Billy and Tammie

Back: Cathy and Nancy

Some special thoughts from Aunt Judy:

I wish that Tammie was closer to me. Whenever, I saw her I used to love to talk with her. She has so much personality and always has a smile. I remember when Tammie and Billy were small, Uncle Bob had a huge Santa and would take it outside and knock on the windows, then he held up the huge Santa. Cathy and Nancy were also there, and they would all run to the window.

Aunt Judy

Front L-R: Chris and Tara

Back L-R: Me (genuine corduroy suit!!!), Tam, Brenda and Lenny

A note from Aunt Brenda:

When I think of you, Tam, I remember when you were a little girl. Mimi, Noni, and I were so excited when you were coming to visit, The house lit up because of you. Later I would come and stay with you. We watched cartoons on Saturday mornings and you loved to go shopping with your mom and me.
I remember that you had the chicken pox when you were the flower girl at my wedding. You wondered if anyone would notice.
I remember when you were in high school-those crazy years!
I remember your wedding and that Tara was your flower girl. Later you were a bridesmaid for Tara. You and Mike were great parents to Sean and Derek.
How could I ever forget our trips to New York City at Christmas? The shopping, dinners, shows, and your favorite-laughing about everything and everybody!
I remember our weekend in Boston for Sarah's wedding. Another weekend of fun!
I remember that you called me this Spring and said you wished we would get together more often. I told you that we would all be at the Balloon Rally. You were really happy and so excited to see Riley, Caleb, and Lucas again.
I remember our last hug at the Balloon Rally. Your sense of humor and zest for a good time will never be forgotten, Tam.

I Love You,
"Aunt" Brenda

Halloween with Tammie

Cheryl Buranich as Batman, Tammie as Robin, Lori Nelk as Batgirl and Sherry Martin as the Penguin

With Halloween coming up again, I started to think of how excited we would get on that night. Over the years, my mother had collected all of these Halloween decorations and Tammie and I love to plaster them all over our picture window. My mom always seemed to make us wait until the 15th of October and then we would bring the boxes up from the basement (knowing the two of us, though, my mom probably carried them up herself). I imagine she made us wait until the 15th, so as to limit the amount of decorations that we could put around the house. Sorry mom, it didn't work.

One year, Tammie sent away for this giant plastic Frankenstein banner and we had to put all these glow-in-the dark thingys all over it. They were little sticky balls of felt or something and they made ol' Frankenstein glow in the dark. We also had this Igor-looking cardboard character that we could attach to a lampshade. The wacky cut-out came with a long string around one of its fingers and a spider dangled down from the string. We also had black cats, plastic pumpkins, bats, and a huge black rubber rat. Somewhere along the way, Tammie bought that rat (it may have come from my grandfather's store) and she loved to pull it out at Halloween and scare my mother. You would think after a few years, that my mom would realize that the rat only came out on April Fool's Day and Halloween. Fortunately for us, she didn't.

Every year, we would make a special trip to this farm in Warners to pick out a pumpkin. At first, my mom would only let us draw with permanent marker on the pumpkin. According to her, it had to be a permanent marker! Of course, she hated knives and was always thinking that we would stab each other. In later years, she finally relented and we made these awesome jack-o-laterns.

We had some great costumes, too. There is a picture of us sitting on our parent's front steps and Tam was dressed up as Snow White and I was portraying my favorite cartoon character, Casper the Friendly Ghost. Now, there was a guy who was misunderstood. He just wanted to be friends with everyone, but they kept running away! Come to think of it, I guess I can relate to that ghost. I suppose that's why I loved him so.

Tammie and I with the pumpkin covered with permanent marker

For most of the years, Tammie and I went trick or treating together or with friends from the neighborhood. Many of the people around our tract would give out the same thing every year. Mrs. Blount across the street gave out individual sticks of Juicy Fruit Gum and there was another house where the people handed out nickels to each kid ( a candy bar was ten cents at the time, so a nickel wasn't bad), Mr Eustace, a Shriner's Circus clown, would make these wonderful balloon animals, and we loved getting popcorn at the Dents and then again at the Sullivans. Once, the Dents added a little haunted house portion to their routine and we thought that was just great. Mrs. Forgan out back would make up a bag for us with full-size candy bars and we made a special trip to her home. Heck, I think Tammie was still stopping by there in high school.

When we would find our way home after a long night of ringing doorbells, we would finally get a chance to go through our loot. We were no fans of the Clark bar, Mounds, Mary Jane, or the infamous Zagnut (Do they still make those?), but we loved the Nestle Crunch bar, the $100,000 Bar, and the legendary Milky Way. My father seemed to like our castoffs, though, so everything worked out in the end.

As we got older, we stopped trick or treating together, but we continued going out with friends. Our costumes got more elaborate and I remember my mom making all sorts for me. Let's see there was a knight, a Planet of the Apes character, and an American colonial guy. At some point, we started going to Cooper's Decorating in Syracuse and buying these awesome rubber masks to add to our finely sewed garments.

Cheryl (old man) and Tammie

Satan: a recurring role for me

Monster Mash

Tammie has made so many of my holidays special and I cherish the traditions that we had when we were young.

Tammie and Family

I had a little trouble with the first part of this video, but stay with it and you will see many of the clan.

I was never thrilled about having that video camera at all our gatherings, but now I want to thank Dad and Amy for taking so much footage.

Sean Michael

I drove my parents and Amy to Albany to see Tammie today. I have made this trip many times over the years and often on my own. Today, as I approached the Fultonville/Fonda exit on the NYS Thruway, I remembered when I took the Greyhound bus to Schenectady many years ago and it made a stop in Fultonville. Tammie was living in Schenectady at the time and working outside the home and she needed a babysitter to look after Sean for the week.

Sean was three-years-old and such a good little boy. We got a chance to play and then he would "help" me with the dishes and cleaning before his mom would come home. At other times, we would make the short walk from the Hachey home on Brandwine Ave to Central Park and the playground there. When we returned home, we would find the Freihofer chocolate chip cookies and some milk and head out to the front porch to wait for Sean's mom to return from work.

During our visit today, Tammie slept most of the time and didn't feel much like talking. But as I was leaving, I bent down by her bed and said, "I love you" and she responded with, "I love you, too".

Time it was...

Happy Birthday, Donald!

Okay, it really is my nephew Derek's birthday today. Unfortunately for him, he has an uncle that thinks it is funny to forget his name.

When Derek was born I had just started my senior year at St. Bonaventure University and I think that he came into the world at 8 lbs and 14 oz (I was 8 lbs and 13 oz when I was born, so he surpassed me at day one). Derek is now all grown up and in college, but I can still remember a certain video of him as a little boy. If only I had it here, it would be all over the Internet by now.

The video was about his first day of school and my sister Tam was so excited that she wanted to film the day for posterity. She filmed him when he got on the bus and then again when he returned home. As he came through the door, she starting asking Derek a series of questions about his day and he went on and on about how the teacher had forgotten to give him milk during his snack. I am not sure how this happened, but it clearly upset him. Tam then changed the subject and asked him what he had learned and Derek perked up and began to tell her all the wonderful things that he had been taught.

He said that the teacher showed the class how to somersault, stand on their heads and then how to jump off chairs, and all the while he was demonstrating this to my sister and giving her a complete play-by-play. She was laughing hysterically and her hold on the camera got a little shaky, but Derek continued to recount his unbelievable day. I wonder if they teach similar things down at Midwestern State.

Happy Birthday, Derek!

Dancing Fools!

The first time that I met Mike Hachey was at my parent's house. I was watching the Eye of the Needle with my friend David, and Mike walked in with Tammie, his friend John and Tammie's friend Cheryl. My mother had warned us both to behave, but she didn't know what to expect from David. Never a loss for words or an outspoken comment, David was quiet and respectful that night. Mike's a great guy, so what was there to say?

In the past, my parents would send me in to get rid of a boyfriend they didn't like much. I remember peppering some poor souls with baseball trivia questions or some other nonsense until they said "No mas!" and headed for the door. There was one guy that would stay late while he made new arrangements of "Peanuts" music on the piano. He wasn't as interested in the 1931 Philadelphia Athletics, however, and he decided to leave and come back another time. I didn't pull out the questions with Mike.

Here is a "short" video of David and Tam dancing at my wedding:

Tammie Didn't Always Dance Alone!

During my wedding reception, I decided to dust off my considerable dancing talents and give Tammie a run for her money!

!