Derek's Christmas Memories

Today, Derek explained to me some of his family's Christmas traditions. On Christmas Eve, they always headed out for Chinese food, but during the first few years; Derek insisted on McDonald's. The only concession that he would make was to eat an egg roll. But as he got older, he found that he enjoyed Chinese food, too. In fact, he and Mike continued the tradition this year.

Christmas morning, Derek and Sean would wake up around 4:30 or so and peek downstairs to see if they could get a glimpse of the presents that they would soon open. There was a rule in the house that they had to wait until their parents woke up and from what Derek tells me, that wasn't always right at 4:30. To pass the time, he and Sean would meet in one of their rooms to guess what they were going to get that day.

Derek's most memorable present was the year that he received a go-kart when he was about twelve. He came downstairs thinking that he might not get it, but Tammie and Mike came through. They may have led him to believe that he was going to get a Barbie doll, but the go-kart was safely in the garage.

Each year, Sean and Derek received gifts at three different spots. First, they opened presents at home, then at Grandma and Grandpa Hachey's, and finally at Ma and Da Hastings. Christmas was very important to Tammie and Mike and they took pains to make everything special.

Winter's Day

I picked up Derek from my parent's home and decided to travel up to the Varsity for lunch of fantastic pizza. Later, we drove by homes that Tammie lived in before and after she got married.

This house on East Genesee St. in Syracuse is where Tammie and Sherry Martin roomed together back in 1979 - 80. At this point, Tammie was very much into the disco scene and trying to get through school.

Mike and Tammie's first apartment together in Solvay (the barn-shaped structure).

There was a bus stop right out front and as a result, people liked to congregate outside their first floor apartment. To deter them, Mike used to drop an occasional wad of tobacco on the stoop. I think it worked, too.

Hachdawg (Sean) lived in this home in Solvay for a time, before moving to Gloversville and later, Ravena New York. I remember going with Mike and Tammie to Twin Trees across the street. Fine eats!

Chicken Pie

When my mother was small, she and my grandparents would spend Christmas with my grandfather's family. The Swarthouts were a large family, and the day's meal was done in three seatings. From what my mom recalls, there were fourteen adults and fourteen children and the children ate first, the men second and the women last. I can imagine how my sister would have reacted to that, if she were in attendance.

My great-grandmother Swarthout (Ma) directed the meal and chicken pie was the primary dish and often she made two of them. In addition to the chicken pie, a turkey would be prepared and on occasion a duck for my great uncle, Lawrence. The Swarthouts were farmers and all of this poultry was readily available to them. Also, my mother remembers a tree filled with gifts and homemade crafts. Back then, there were no Kleenex or Puffs, so the gift of handkerchiefs was always welcomed. These could be very ornate and made nice Christmas ornaments. I trust that there were new ones on the tree each year.

Many years have passed since those times, but we still have chicken pie on Christmas. My grandmother picked up the recipe and made some delicious pies of her own (she always used bones to hold up the crust!) and now my mother prepares them. Tammie would help from time to time and there were years, that she made her own. Today, we will carry on the tradition and eat some chicken pie.

Mimi, we miss you this year! Looking forward to seeing you in the spring!

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and Tam, we miss you most of all.

Amazing Grace

The Night Before Christmas

Tammie seems distracted in this photo, but then Santa looks a little stunned. In fact, he almost seems frozen in time. I don't remember visiting Santa Claus in that little building, but years later it was left discarded behind Camillus Plaza and I would always ask my mother to drive by it. I can just imagine how many young people met Santa for the first time there and the tiny house always fascinated me.

Christmas Eve is certainly not the same this year, but it does bring me back to very happy times and magical nights. I can remember the excitement that Tammie and I both shared and the times when my Dad would read "Twas the Night Before Christmas." Right before bedtime, we would put our stockings out in my parent's living room with the hopes that we would receive a visit that night. I remember thinking that Santa might not come, because we had this birdcage looking thing covering our chimney and we didn't have a fireplace for the stockings. Instead, we each had a favorite chair that we would place them on.

At some point, my mother would insist that we go to bed or Santa might not come and I can recall being so excited that it was very difficult to sleep. Somewhere around 5:00 AM, I would get up and go looking for my sister and parents. Usually, I had already sneaked into the living room and seen my stocking stuffed with my favorite candies. Man, I still can't lay off those miniature chocolate santas!

Also, I remember my sister telling me all about Santa Claus and how she had gotten up in the night one year and actually seen him with her own eyes. She was a very descriptive person and it seemed so real to me. Tonight, I had moments were I was as distracted as Tammie seemed in the picture. I was in the present, but my mind was off somewhere in the distant past. Thank you Tammie for those magical nights and for my wonderful memories.

Chasing

I just finished reading a young adult book called Chasing Redbird by Sharon Creech. In the book, Zinnia Taylor, the thirteen-year-old main character, struggles to deal with the death of a young cousin and years later, that of a favorite aunt. Along the way, she rediscovers an historic trail that winds from her home to a neighboring town and she spends a summer trying to excavate and restore it. The title of the book comes from her uncle's constant search through the fields and woods surrounding his home for his dead wife and for Zinnia's personal search as exhibited by her quest to unearth this trail. Her aunt wasn't a bird of course, but she did have red hair.

This past week, I was on vacation from work and I spent that time running, eating too much, and trying to sort out issues in my life. Along the way, I also rediscovered a few historic sites. First, I found pillars that are all that remain from an Onondaga Lake resort, an abandoned Erie Canal lock, and the remains of Syracuse's first airport.

Pillars from Pleasant Beach dock at Onondaga Lake

Gere Lock in Camillus

Old Syracuse Municipal Airport

Funny, but I started this book during my vacation and unbeknownst to me my life has somewhat paralleled the story. 2009 was a year of tremendous change and personal challenge for me and that was even before Tammie became sick and passed away. This blog has helped me to chase my own "redbird" and I am afraid that I have a long way to go before I catch her.

Mimi's Birthday

Cousin, Chris and "little" Sean, Mom, Mimi, "tiny" Derek, Brenda and Tam (I inadvertently cut myself out of this one)

Today is my grandmother's birthday. For years, we were never too sure of her age, but we are fairly certain that she turned ninety-nine, today. Years ago, I remember my Aunt Brenda telling a story about Mimi and how the people that worked with Mimi were determined to find out how old she was (She worked until she was 91!). They decided that they were going to go up into the cemetery and look for the stone that my grandmother had purchased for my deceased grandfather and herself. Their assumption was that there would be birth dates on the stone. Unfortunately, my grandmother outsmarted them all, as they would only find the names and the year of my grandfather's death.

From what I have heard, Mimi has had a tough go of things since my sister's death. Tammie used to call her every Sunday and the two would swap stories and I am sure that Tam probably shocked her a few times along the way. Although, that wasn't the case back in the beginning of October of this year, when Tammie was very sick and not always coherent. My grandmother was reluctant to talk to Tammie on the phone and as a result, she hadn't spoken to her since Tam had entered hospice. One day when my family and I were visiting, my grandmother called my mom's cellphone to ask about Tammie's condition. Now most of the visit, Tammie was entertaining us with some very colorful comments and was displaying just a glimmer of her former self.

As my mother spoke, I just had a feeling that this might be the last opportunity that Mimi would have to speak to her granddaughter. I interrupted the conversation to ask my mother if I could have the phone. She checked first with my grandmother and then I picked up the little cellphone and walked over to my sister. At this point, my sister had difficulty using her left hand and I placed it in her right hand and stood there in case she had trouble holding it. Tam seemed lucid for those few moments and the two carried on a very nice conversation. During that time, Tammie did not make one off-color or inappropriate remark. The phone conversation ended and I gave my mother back the phone, as Tammie explained to us that she had been good and didn't say "%*$& and @*%$#" to her grandmother.

Mimi and Tammie were two of the strongest personalities in our family. Despite that, they rarely clashed and had a wonderfully close relationship. My grandmother at this moment, is in a nursing home. I spoke with her today on her birthday and we had a short but sweet conversation. We talked about the Buffalo Bills, basketball and gifts that she had received. At the end, I expressed a hope that we would see her in Camillus in the spring, as this is the first time in several years that she has not been able to make it to my parent's home for Christmas. Mimi, we love you!

My grandmother used to sing this song to my mother when she was small and later, my mother sang it to Tammie and me. Who knew that Mimi was a Mizzou fan? and that it's Missouri's state song? Had trouble finding a good version but here are some other takes: Mizzou Marching Band and an Mizzou Men's A Cappella group.

Funny Face

Sean, Tammie and Derek

I was looking at this picture and I had to lighten it up a bit just to see her face. My parents have a big red maple tree to the left of where the picture was taken and it makes the yard so shady. I love how Tammie has this crazy look on her face and how little Sean is trying to immitate it. People who know me, might recall me making a similar face at times. Well, I stole the idea from Tam. She was so much fun sometimes and she had a sense of humor that just pushed limits. I can see that in her boys, as they also can be very funny.

Tonight, I was looking at Tam's Facebook page and she listed under her activities: fun, fun, fun. That pretty much sums her up, as she was all about that. I guess that is one of the things I miss the most about her. She was someone that you could be so silly with and share some great laughs.

The other night, I found myself taking a bunch of teens to the New Moon film and my mind started wandering near the end of it. Things became funny that shouldn't have been and just like in days past with my sister; I started laughing uncontrollably. Why I thought two vampire types fighting was hilarious is beyond me, but it was the first real belly laugh that I have had in years. Tam never got to the point where she took herself too seriously and that is what I have to relearn.

Here is a show and performer that she regularly laughed at. She would just lose it, when Dolly came down on that swing.

Little Things at Christmas

I went over to my mother and father's home armed with my favorite Christmas film, The Homecoming. Back in 1972 (about the time that these crazy "people" were coming door to door), my mom told us about this great tv movie that would be airing on CBS and that we all needed to watch it. I had no idea that we would all love it so much. In fact, years later they would show it on Christmas Eve and it never seemed to disappoint. When they finally stopped airing it, I purchased a copy from Amazon and we continued to watch it every year. After the success of this movie, CBS developed The Waltons television program and the rest is history. Of course, there was Spencer's Mountain before that, but who wants to get into that.

As you know, my mother grew up in Wellsville in the Southern Tier of New York State. Wellsville has always reminded me of the fictional Walton's Mountain. Both areas are very rural and have beautiful hills and my family had interesting characters just like on the television show. After watching these Waltons for so many years, I decided to read some of Earl Hamner's books and was a bit disappointed with The Homecoming. In the book, Clay Spencer seemed to be a bit of a drunk and Clay Boy was given the task of tracking him down. The first place that he looked was Ike Godsey's place. Now, Godsey seemed to be running a pool hall/saloon and Clay Boy's mother just figured that her husband was a little "under the weather" at Ike's. Well, the movie and tv show differ here a bit and on tv, Ike runs a general store.

Tammie loved this film and all of the Hacheys and Hastings would pack into my parent's family room and watch this masterpiece each year at Christmas. This year it was a bit tough to watch without my sister, but it certainly brought back great memories. I still look for my sister when I am over there and am always thinking of things to tell her. She would have loved watching the movie with us tonight and would have made the same jokes about it that she made for thirty six years. I can tell you that we always laughed, because she was damn funny!

Miracle in the barn

Christmas Memories Pt. 1

We always enjoyed Christmas time in our house. Like a lot of young people, Tammie and I looked forward to the Sears Christmas Catalog and flipping through it for toys that we just had to have. My mom would tell us to find three toys that we really wanted and circle them in the catalog. I can tell you that this was not an easy task, as I wanted just about everything that I saw. One of my all-time favorite gifts was a train set that I received when I was eleven. That was the year of the Bicentennial and I was so happy to get the Spirit of '76 HO Scale set. I loved that train, but the brass HO tracks were hard to keep clean and somewhere along the way I inadvertently blew out its tiny engine. As usual, my limited skills did more damage to it in the attempted repair and it never ran again.

I don't really have a recollection of Tammie going to see Santa with me, but I certainly remember my solo visits. Usually, I would have to walk around the store with my mom a few times, before I gathered up the courage to speak with him. I was never too comfortable with this process, so I always brought a list that I had prepared a head of time. Once I found the courage, I would walk up and hand him the list and then be done with it. I suppose the list system worked as I think that I always got what I asked for.

My mother would keep a calendar for each of us during December and would award us a star if we were good on a particular day. We knew what we had to do, so we rarely missed getting a star. Of course, there was the one time when we must have gotten into some massive argument and my mom made it clear that there was no chance for redemption that day. I can assure you that it was a rarity, though. Our eyes were clearly on Christmas day and the presents that we expected to receive.

Church was also a big part of our growing up and we enjoyed the Christmas Eve candlelight service. From the time that we were quite small, we went to Immanuel Methodist Church in Camillus and for a large part of that time our minister was Leonard B. "Eli" Whitney. He had such a loud, booming voice and made every church service extra special. At Christmas time, our church would have two huge trees in the sanctuary and both were beautifully decorated. One of them would always have colorful lights on it, while the other had no lights, but wonderful cloth ornaments. Tammie and I enjoyed looking at these trees and participating in the special night.

During the service, the last advent candle would be lighted and we would sing these great Christmas hymns. The last of which, was Silent Night. Candles were passed out to the attendees and the ushers would come down the aisle and light the ones closest to the aisle. Slowly, each person would pass their light to the next until every candle was lit. I remember that our church had large globe lights hanging down from the ceiling and Reverend Whitney would instruct us to bring the lit candles up and down and to watch the light reflect off of these globes.

In addition to these special services, Tammie and I were in a couple of Christmas plays. One year, we both played angels and my mother made these elaborate costumes that included halos. I was small and not much of an actor, but I did secure the important role of Assistant Time Keeper. Basically, it was my job to hold the ladder for the Time Keeper who then climbed up and changed the hands of the clock. I didn't know that angels had clocks, but they certainly did in this production. To be honest, I don't recall Tammie's role in the play, but she did make a pretty convincing looking angel.

Every year, my parents made Christmas special for us. We enjoyed getting our tree from the church sale and decorating it while the King Family, Andy, Bob or Bing specials were playing on television and we sure had fun looking at all of the lights that our neighbors displayed each year. Orchard Village (a neighborhood tract in Camillus) held a yearly competition and that neighborhood was a favorite drive during Christmas. I certainly miss those days and getting up on Christmas morning to open our stockings upstairs and then going downstairs to open the really big presents. I am so glad for those memories with my Mom, Dad, and Tam.

My sister portrayed an angel in the play that year many years ago and I am sure is doing the same now in Heaven. Recently, my parents put up their trees and collection of outside decorations. This year they added a special new figure to their outside display. In memory of my sister, there is a brand new lighted angel on the front lawn.

Happy Birthday, Mimi

The "People"

I was talking to my mother tonight and reminiscing about Christmases past. I remember playing kiddles and flatsies with my sister in her room one night and my mother coming in and warning us about the "People" and that we would have to turn off the lights and hide. Now, I rarely played anything with my sister, because I often drove her crazy and either I or an object would come flying out of whichever room that we chose to play in. When we neared Christmas, however, we tended to get along better and this is probably the reason that we were together on this particular night. The "People" only came through our neighborhood for three years, but for me I don't recall anything approaching that excitement.

The "People" were a group of choraliers that may or may not have been affiliated with a church of some kind. They had loud speakers mounted to their cars or vans and drove through the streets of our neighborhood with Christmas carols blaring. According to my mother, she opened the door to them one year and they had wads of bills in their hands and were asking for even more. She thought it strange and closed the door to them. The next year, she was ready and when she heard the music she gathered up Tammie and I and we hid in the dark. We sat quietly as the music became louder and louder and the headlights drove up to our house. Suddenly, there was a loud bang at the door and several rings of the doorbell. The tension was excrutiating, as we waited for these intruders to give up and head off down the street. Eventually, we heard some loud voices and the stomping of feet and they were gone.

The next year they returned again and we resumed our tactic of hiding in the dark. This time my father was coming home with a Christmas tree and we feared for his safety. Dad drove up just as the faux choraliers were approaching our front door. He started to pull up the driveway, but then he noticed that they were the infamous "People". He threw the car into reverse and hurriedly backed down the street and drove around the block until they were gone. As odd as this all seems, Tammie and I so looked forward to the return of these strangers. In fact, sometimes, I would plead with my mother to reenact this excitement and play the "People are coming" with Tammie and me. Unfortunately for us, they only came by those three years.

Joy to the World! (A favorite of the "People")