My sister had a full room of visitors today as Sean, Mike, Cousins Cathy and Nancy, Aunt Sally, Amy and I were all there to say hello. I talked with Tammie about some of my memories that are on this blog and she laughed and laughed when I mentioned our visit to the abandoned amusement park. She recalled that it was somewhere near Lake George and I think she might be correct.
During this past week, I was on vacation from work and I had a chance to do a lot of thinking. Most of those thoughts centered on Tammie, of course. When I visited her last week, she mentioned that she was scared and the room went completely silent. As soon as she said it, I realized that I had never seen my sister scared of anything (Unless you count that film, The Pit and the Pendulum). She always spoke her mind and would even challenge someone physically, if she thought that she were in the right. For instance, when she was in the seventh grade, she decided that she wanted to sit in the back of the bus and a ninth grader attempted to make her move. Tam didn't care that the girl was older and bigger than she; there was just no way that she was going to move from her seat. On the other hand, I have spent my entire life afraid of one thing or another. There have plenty of times where I have exhibited Pantophobia and given up in the middle or never started out at all. I won't list all of them here, but I do recall one particular incident where I clearly choked in a bowling tournament.
There used to be a television show in Syracuse called Championship Bowling and they had qualifiers all over the county. I had an opportunity to be on the show, but had to win a three game match against an older boy. I started off well and won the first two games, but then reality sunk in. People started to comment about how I was going to win and be on the show and that all I had to do was win one more game. Well, I started to think about that and the fact that this local TV personality (Dennis Bowman) would have to interview me with the help of his ventriloquist dummy and I panicked. My hands got sweaty and I started to miss the pocket and before I knew it the qualifier was over and I lost by 9 pins. The boy that defeated me would go on the show and win by 46 pins, and bring home this massive trophy. He said hello to the dummy (sorry Dennis) and the ventriloquist doll and it looked painless.
My sister isn't wired like me and if she set her sights on a goal, she would find a way to get through and achieve it. For example, she wanted to be a teacher and in her forties she went back to school and earned a Bachelor's Degree and then soon after a Master's Degree. All the while, she was working outside the home and raising two very active boys. She didn't have time to be afraid of failure.
In 2003, I ran and completed a marathon. If I were asked, I would list this as one of the proudest moments in my life and Tammie was there to greet me at the finish line. She always helped make me feel brave.
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