Free

My sister loved to do things her way. Throughout her life, she had certain goals and she did what she could to attain them. Tam loved to have fun and my parents were always trying to find creative ways to contain her. She wasn't beyond climbing out a window or two to make her dreams come true and she wasn't a big fan of "unnecessary" rules or conventional behavior. In later life, she put her mind to becoming a teacher and went back to school in her forties. Despite many challenges, she became a fine one.

When Tammie and I were young, we had this family that lived across the street and that family had four children. For the first few years that we lived there, we seemed to do a lot of things together with them. I would play with the two boys in their sandbox and we would create these wonderful roads with powerful Tonka trucks, while imaginary construction workers with names like Jim and Joe barked out orders. Back then, we used to play "guns" or "cowboys and indians" and the father of these characters built a huge fort with a catwalk and holes for our long toy rifles. Also, Tammie and their two girls would put on plays for our parents and all of us would play endless games of kickball and running bases.

Then one day something happened. The neighbor mom outlawed the use of toy guns. She couldn't understand the attraction of them and it apparently bothered her husband a great deal. Of course, Tammie would always point out that the guy built a two-story fort!!!! That neighbor mom then stopped talking to our neighbor that was divorced and she would absolutely not allow the daughter of the divorced woman to enter her yard. She then started charging fines for children who wore shoes into her house, or who forgot to put a kickstand up on their bike, or who spit. Her son was constantly spitting and it was quite disgusting, so we didn't mind that rule. I don't think that anyone else ever spit, though, so it didn't cost the rest of us anything.

Eventually, the neighbor mom found other "problems" with how we were being raised and she stopped talking to my Mom and Dad. Other families did the same and soon Tammie and I were left without any friends on the street. In the end, the neighbor mom dumped the other families, too and by the time she moved, she wasn't talking to anyone. This neighbor mom was well respected in her town and her husband was a successful bank official. In my mind, however, they were small-minded people and were responsible for much unnecessary pain. I have no idea what happened to them, but life goes on.

Some convention is necessary for a society to function, but I could do without some of the judging that goes on. Tammie really was a person that was open to new ideas and was very respectful of people that were different from her. I believe that my parents instilled that in us and I am very grateful for that.

This morning, I turned on the television and this tv preacher was speaking about the value of the individual person. He emphasized that no matter how many times others might try to tear you down, your inherent value cannot be diminished. According to him, the only way that it can possibly happen is for the individual to diminish him or herself. I don't think that Tam allowed people to do that to her and that helped her to be free of many of the negative personal thoughts that I and others constantly struggle with. I am going to keep trying to overcome them, though. This year, I am going to keep trying.