Goodbye, Mimi

My grandmother at one of her favorite places: work!

Nonne, Doris Swarthout and Mimi

My Mom, Dad and I went to Wellsville last weekend to bury my grandmother's ashes. While there, we were joined by my Aunt Brenda and Uncle Lenny and my Great Aunt Bette. During the graveside ceremony, we were all able to share our memories of Mimi and our great times with her.

For years, my grandmother prepared for her death. She was always trying to get family members to take some of her possessions and I am pretty sure that began back in the 1980's. I know that she offered Tammie quite a few items and one thing in particular was the famous "No Touch!" table. Mimi had this little table that is obviously an antique and she populated it with these glass and porcelain animals. She was adamant that we just look at these creatures and not touch or remove them. Despite this warning, I remember secretly taking them off their table top haven and bringing them to the jungles and farm yards of my imagination. I absolutely loved playing with them and somehow, I was never caught doing it. Now there are just a few figurines left on that table and many of them are broken and worn.

After the service at the cemetery, we returned to her home on Osborne St. My parents and I were staying there and I was just flooded with memories throughout the weekend. I kept thinking back to last July and being there with Mimi and Tam. I remembered being upstairs with Tammie and realizing that she was having difficulty breathing after her walk up the steep and narrow stairs and how she tried to downplay it. I also remembered how she struggled to walk uptown and to the balloon rally . None of us could understand what was wrong with her.

Mimi's home seemed like a house this time. Many of the people who gave it life are gone now and all we have are our memories. By the end of our trip, we felt broken and worn like the animals on the "No Touch" Table.

Mimi and Mom

Mimi, Nonne and Mom

Our last Great Wellsville Balloon Rally

Mimi's white house

Dad and Bette

Tam's Birthday

Today is Tammie's birthday and also Kentucky Derby Day. For me that seems appropriate, as Tammie loved horse racing. In fact, she worked for a time at the Saratoga track and got to learn a lot about racing and betting over her many trips there.

When we were kids, my Mom always made us pick a horse on Derby Day. For me, that meant choosing the favorite, as I absolutely hated to lose. Of course, I had no idea that the favorite rarely wins that race. That wasn't the case, however, in 1977, when I picked the great Seattle Slew. I loved watching that horse, because he always went right for the lead and just stayed there. Those of us who grew up in the Seventies got to see three Triple Crown Winners and almost a fourth in Spectacular Bid. Unfortunately, there hasn't been another Triple Crown Winner since.

In 1975 , I remember deciding on a horse named Foolish Pleasure and then having to face my grandfather who pointed out the foolishness of picking the favorite. I recall that he picked a horse named Bombay Duck and Tam selected Avatar. I got lucky that time, but Bombay Duck led for a good portion of the race. In fact, he was on a record pace before he was hit with a beer bottle, so that may have affected the outcome. Tam's horse came in second that year.

I watched the derby with my parents today, but missed Tammie and my Grandmother Mimi, who passed away on Wednesday. We have so many great family traditions and I cherish all my memories of them. Mimi, Nonne, and Tam loved this race so much and I imagine that they were watching from somewhere and not picking the favorite!

Monkey See

I had to get some things at the local Target tonight and I started to think about Tam and years gone by. Before there was a Target in Fairmount, there was a mall called Fairmount Fair and I was thinking about that place, as I was heading home.

Back in the Seventies, we loved to frequent Spencer's Gifts in the mall and I remember Tammie being fascinated with black lights and these crazy fluorescent posters. They had all sorts of nonsense at Spencer's and we bought a few whoopie cushions and pet rocks along the way. One of my most disappointing purchases were these crazy Sea Monkeys that I just had to have.

Tammie had baby-sat for a girl on our street who had them and she came back home with these great stories of how the sea monkeys fought and did all of these wild acrobatic tricks. I had been familiar with them from the numerous comic book ads, but there was no chance that my mother was going to let me buy any. Eventually I wore her down, though, and I picked some up at Spencer's.

I couldn't wait to get these things home and start my new sea monkey kingdom. Once safely in my room, I opened all the little containers and was immediately discouraged by this dust that was supposed to be the sea monkeys. You see, I have never been too good at reading directions, but I swear that I did everything correctly with these "monkeys". Despite my efforts, all I was able to raise were a bunch of little slimy blobs. I didn't know at the time that sea monkeys were actually brine shrimp and looked like blobs. Of course, it didn't help that Tam was so insistent that this girl on the street had beautiful pink sea monkeys with crowns and that I must have screwed something up.

Get the Candy!

I will never forget the Easter in Camillus, when my sister realized that she forgot the candy and decided to travel the three hours back to her home in Ravena to retrieve it. We all tried to convince her that it was a nutty idea, but she was having nothing of it. As Mike tried to point out to her, she could have gone to the local grocery store the next day and picked up candy at 50% off, but that wasn't Tam. Instead she made us all worried sick as she went out into the night. She arrived back at my parents sometime in the early morning with chocolate bunnies in hand. I am not sure why I didn't offer to go with her, but I probably thought it was such a goofy idea that I refused to entertain it. I don't recall sleeping much that night, though, because I was worried about her.

Unicorn Song

My parents used to buy a lot of their furniture at this store in Syracuse called Dunk and Bright Furniture on the South Side of Syracuse. They had lived in the surrounding area when they first came to town and they still had ties to some of the businesses there. Williams Appliance store on South Avenue was another place that they frequented and they purchased an avocado refrigerator and giant Zenith TV there, among other things. Dunk and Bright's is still in the same location, although the neighborhood has changed. When I was going to Syracuse University in the late 1980's, a policeman named Wally Howard was shot and killed near a market across the street.

Tammie and I liked to go to Dunk and Bright's around St. Patrick's Day, because they had great hot chocolate and gifts for people that purchased furniture. In addition, they had a huge showroom and separate areas for carpeting and budget furniture. You could spend all day at O'Dunk and O'Bright's (As it was known on St. Patrick's Day) listening to Irish music and looking around. Of course, my Mom and Dad spent a lot of money there, too. In fact, I remember picking out my bedroom furniture there and my parents actually bought it for me.

Today is my first birthday without Tammie and I was thinking back to when she and I first heard this song by the Irish Rovers. We would always get laughing everytime we would hear it and we loved to mimic the voices of the performers. The first time we heard it was during one of our family furniture shopping trips on the South Side of Syracuse.

Selection Sunday

On October 25th, 2009, the New York Yankees were playing to go to the World Series. The Yankees were always our favorite team and this normally would have been a big deal, but it didn't mean anything that night. I was watching that game when we received a call from my Mom and Dad that Tammie had passed away. After hearing that awful news, I continued to watch as the incredible Mariano Rivera came in for the save. As I looked on, I thought back to the late 1970's and the great anticipation that we had as those awesome clubs struggled their way to three pennants and two World Championships. Tam and I were young then and full of hope for future successes. This year, the hope was gone, but the robotic Rivera continued to play. In my mind, it was a strange parallel to what I was experiencing.

Today is selection Sunday for the NCAA basketball tournament. Ordinarily, I would wait in great anticipation to find out where teams are seeded and what chance Syracuse had to advance in the tournament, but I feel very little interest in it this year. I might still watch some games, but the fun and excitement is definitely gone.

My first recollection of watching this tournament was in 1975 and I was watching in my parent's living room with my sister. Syracuse was playing Kansas State and was down by two points with just five seconds left in the game. To this day, it ranks as one of the most exciting games that I have ever seen. A few days earlier, Tammie got an opportunity to see and meet Rudy Hackett. Rudy was a the star center for Syracuse back then and several kids from our church were invited to see him at a gathering. Tammie's Sunday School teacher was Royce Newell, who himself was a former center for Syracuse University, and he played for them back in the 1940's. Royce was a gentle giant of a man who stood 6'8" tall and he scored 951 points in his college career. He arranged this memorable meeting and as a result, Tammie became a huge Rudy Hackett fan.

Syracuse had to go the length of the floor in those five seconds and Coach Roy Danforth instructed Jimmy "Bug" Williams to grab the inbounds pass and somehow find a way to get a shot off (This was way before any three point shot was instituted). "Bug" was out of Buffalo and an extremely fast point guard. In fact, that is how he got his name. Well, he shot off like a light and somehow got the ball to Rudy Hackett, who was darting across the lane. Hackett grabbed the ball turned and shot it with his left hand (he was right handed) and the ball went in to tie the game. Syracuse went on to win the contest in overtime and they eventually made it to the Final Four before losing to Kentucky. Back then, they had a consolation game at the Final Four and Syracuse lost to Louisville in that one. Despite the eventual heartbreak, I became a huge Syracuse fan in 1975 and Tam was right there with me.

Most every year, Tammie and I submitted picks for who we thought would win the NCAA Division 1 Basketball Tournament. This year, I think I might develop one, but enter under my sister's name. If I win, I am going to do something special with it. I still miss her everyday. Sports was my savior throughout my life, but they seem very trivial now.

Old Yellow

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3385/3646264956_79833865ab.jpg

My sister's first car looked very much like the one in the photo. My Dad bought it from a dentist friend of his ,who was just getting into the car business in 1979. From what I remember, they paid $900.00 for it and it was a mustard yellow 1973 Oldsmobile 88 with a V-8 350 "rocket engine". Tammie was very excited to get it and couldn't wait to wash it and polish it up. She took it home and turned the car radio on to listen as she worked. Before long, she drained the battery and "Old Yellow" wouldn't start.

Tam was always running out of gas with the thing, too. The needle on the gauge didn't work very well and she would run out in DeWitt, on 690 or somewhere outside of Rochester. Who knew where it was going to happen? Knock on wood, I have never run out of gas.  I had never known anyone who owned a yellow car before and it kind of made me proud. Of course, it wasn't completely yellow.

Over the years that she owned it, the car started to acquire other colors. First, there was a little blue that somehow got on the front bumper, then there was the red paint that showed up on the front passenger door. Along the way, she lost the button thingy in the door handle on that side and found some black streaky marks that ran along that door. Oh and that door seemed to be smashed in a little bit. Tammie always maintained that car was like that when she got it, but I don't really remember it that way.

Another memorable moment, was when Tammie was leaving my parents driveway and she inadvertently clipped one of my parent's cars. My Mom and Dad went out to check and my Dad seemed  to develop some difficulty in speaking. My Mom was a bit in a panic, as she kept telling Tam to go and not look back. My Father eventually calmed down, but I can still see him trying to form words after seeing his white Cutlass with a massive dent in it. As some might know, my Dad is a bit particular about  his cars.